Why Do I Have Separation Anxiety From My Pets?
Quick Answer: Pet owners' separation anxiety is the result of their deep emotional relationship with pets that provide companionship and unconditional love. The owners being without their dog can result in loneliness, and stress because they are concerned about what may happen to the dog while the owners are away or guilty. All of this feeds into what would be intensified when life is disrupted like moving or changes in schedule/ routine/ even a loss.
Instagram:dantethechichi
Introduction
Have you ever felt a wave of anxiety wash over you when leaving your pet at home? You're not alone. Recent studies show that over 40% of pet owners experience significant distress when separated from their pets, a number that has risen sharply since 2020. Pets get really anxious when separated from their owners, but separation anxiety in an owner is just as real and difficult to deal with. Worrying day in and out about your pet, going back and thinking twice about leaving them alone can ruin a relationship.
Why Do We Form Strong Emotional Bonds with Our Pets?
The biology behind attachment to pets is sophisticated and complex. When we interact with pets, they release oxytocin (the bonding hormone) in the human brain which is the same chemical that oozes during parent-child bonding.
Happy Hormones on Play
Every time we touch our pets—a dog wagging his tail as we come back home or even a cat sitting on our laps and purring—our brain releases dopamine, that feel-good chemical. This may show why it is so pleasurable to be around our pets and motivates us to keep up these special relationships.
Instagram: imbanditthecavapoo
Deep-Rooted Connection
A relationship with pets is most likely nurtured along the same route that evolution followed when enabling our ancestors to live in small social groups. Many of those instincts that made humans coexist to ensure their survival can be observed today in making close companions out of our animal pets.
Daily Rituals Strengthen Bonds
Consider morning walks with your pet, dressing them in beautiful dog clothing, times of feeding, and evening cuddles on the couch. All these regular interactions are not just habits but moments of bonding. Your pet learns to trust and rely on you, while you find comfort and joy in these predictable moments together.
The Two-Way Street
What really sets these bonds apart, however, is the fact that they go both ways. Pets too are known to become greatly attached to their humans, receiving them at the door each day with apparent enthusiasm and taking comfort from us in times of stress.
What Are The Signs of Pet Owner Separation Anxiety?
Pet separation anxiety shows up in different ways - from worried thoughts to changes in your daily routine. Here's what to look out for:
-
Heart Over Head: Ever catch yourself checking your phone for pet updates non-stop? Or feeling guilty every time you leave? These worried thoughts are common, like having your "parent mode" stuck on high alert. It's normal to care, but when these thoughts take over, it might be time to take action.
-
Body Talk: Your body might send you signals too. Trouble sleeping, changes in appetite, racing heart, or stress headaches could all be signs you're too worried about your pet. Think of it as your body's way of saying "hey, let's find a better balance."
Instagram: mynameisallisterhamilton
-
Changed Habits: Notice yourself constantly checking pet cameras or calling your pet sitter? Maybe skipping social plans to rush home? Small changes are normal, but when your whole routine revolves around your pet, it might be worth a second look.
-
Life Impact: If thoughts of your pet keep interrupting your workday, or if you're turning down opportunities and losing touch with friends, that's your cue. While pets are family, a healthy balance lets both you and your furry friend thrive.
If you find these experiences significantly affecting your daily life - making it hard to work, maintain relationships, or enjoy activities you once loved - it might be time to talk to someone who understands. Just like any other form of anxiety, these feelings deserve attention and care.
Who Are Vulnerable to Pet Separation Anxiety?
1. People Living Alone
People who live alone often have stronger bonds with their pets since these animals become their main source of daily interaction and emotional connection. Without other household members to share responsibilities of pet care, single-person households usually develop closer attachments and concerns about the well-being of their pets.
2. Remote Workers Returning to Office
Work patterns also play an important role. The shift to working from home in recent years has led to unprecedented levels of contact between pets and their human companions. When professionals go back to offices, both they and their pets have to get used to major schedule changes, which often exacerbate anxiety and stress responses.
Instagram: hi_my_name_is_applesauce_
3. People with Past Trauma or Loss
Personal history can alter how one deals with separation: "Those who have experienced loss, trauma, or who have anxiety disorders are more apt to form extremely strong attachments to their pets. Past pet loss or unresolved grief will add to fears about the present pet relationships.
4. First-Time Pet Owners
First-time owners encounter special difficulties because of their inexperience. Lacking prior pet care experience, many have a hard time differentiating between normal and troublesome signs of pets, which can make them unduly anxious and overprotective towards their pets. A steep learning curve in pet care can add more stress and uncertainty.
5. Pandemic Pet Owners
The pandemic brought about lasting changes in the relationships between pets and their owners. For many, prolonged isolation meant relying heavily on dogs and cats for emotional support. This deepened attachment, along with disrupted routines and general uncertainty, has created new patterns of attachment that are challenging to alter.
Instagram: daisyandviolet_
How to Build Healthy Separation Habits
Start Small Like Teaching a Kid to Bike
Start with just 5-10 minutes of separation - maybe step out to check the mail or water the plants while your pet stays inside. Leave a KONG toy filled with peanut butter or their favorite treats in their special corner (like a cozy bed near a window). Feed them at fixed times, say 7AM and 6PM, whether you're working from home or at the office. Try puzzle feeders or treat-dispensing balls that keep them busy for 15-20 minutes while you're in another room.
Create Your Pet's Support Squad
Schedule a meet-and-greet with a potential pet sitter where they spend 30 minutes playing with your pet while you're present. Save your vet's after-hours number on your phone and keep it on your fridge. Join the neighborhood pet owners' WhatsApp group for quick help when needed. Have your sister as backup who can check on your pet if your regular sitter isn't available.
Instagram: rockynycmorkie
Set Loving Boundaries That Work
Establish a "no pets in the home office" rule during video calls by giving them their own special bed just outside the door. Create a morning routine: 30-minute walk, breakfast, then quiet time while you work. Keep the kitchen counter as a pet-free zone, even when cooking their favorite chicken. Set aside dedicated playtime (like 7-8 PM) but also teach them to relax in their bed when you're watching TV or having dinner.
Prepare Your Mind for Time Apart
Start with a quick 15-minute coffee run, then build up to a 2-hour grocery trip. When checking your pet camera, limit yourself to three quick peeks during your workday instead of constant monitoring. Keep their morning walk routine the same on both weekdays and weekends. Replace anxious thoughts ("Is my pet okay?") with confident ones ("My pet is safe and probably napping right now").
Instagram: the_joy_of_the_chase
Make Progress Step by Step
Week 1: Master 30-minute errands without anxiety
Week 2: Extend to 2-hour shopping trips
Week 3: Try a full workday with a midday pet sitter visit
Week 4: Join friends for dinner after work (3-4 hours)
Monthly Goal: Comfortable with regular 8-hour workdays knowing your pet is content at home
When I first left my dog alone, she learned to enjoy her "me time" with her favorite squeaky toy, and now she barely notices when I grab my keys. Your pet can get there too - it just takes patience and practice!
What Are Effective Ways to Manage Separation Stress?
-
Smart Tools to Stay Connected: Set up a dependable pet camera in your pet's favorite spot, allowing you to catch a glimpse of his day without being too intrusive. Consider it like having a friendly neighbor peek in now and then just to make sure everything is okay. Consider, for added peace of mind, an automated feeder that keeps mealtimes consistent, just as they would be if you were home. A GPS tracker provides extra security, much like a guardian angel, if your pet spends time outdoors.
-
Clear Plans Make Happy Pets: Communication with the caregiver of your pet is just about developing good play that everyone follows. Start with writing down how your pet spends his or her day-from morning meals to bedtime habits. Share necessary information in terms of feeding schedules, times for walking, and any other needs your pet may have.
-
Take Care of Yourself: Looking after yourself is just as important as caring for your pet. Create a daily routine that nurtures your well-being - this might mean going to bed at a consistent time, enjoying nutritious meals, and making time for regular exercise.
Instagram: mischievous_westie_fergus
-
Stay Busy in a Good Way: Jump into work projects that interest you, or use this time to explore new hobbies that you have been wondering about. Join a class or social group that brings you joy—maybe a book club, exercise class, or local volunteer group.
-
Dressing Your Dog: Dressing your dog can be a powerful tool in managing separation anxiety. This practice isn't just about making dogs look cuter or more fashionable; it can express care and protection to some extent, similar to how people dress their children. It reassures anxious owners because this method can enhance the comfort of their dogs. These dog clothes can also carry your scent, offering comfort when you're away. The key is choosing the right fit and fabric to ensure your pet stays comfortable without feeling restricted.
Make Peace With Time Apart From Your Pet
It's normal to miss them with your pet; it only means you care about them. The bottom line, however, is not to care but to find a proper balance that works for both of you. In such cases, taking small steps, like gradual separation, using pet cameras to check in on them, or even finding a trustworthy support system, can help a person feel more confident when they need to be away from them. Remember, don't hesitate to ask for help if you're struggling-really, so many pet parents have been there, too. In time and with patience, you will achieve a relationship whereby both you and your pet are secure with or without each other.
Instagram: mischievous_westie_fergus
